At my church like many other churches they have a Men’s Ministry group, although I feel the name should be changed to “Men that Minister.” Anyway, I am always baffled when I am around men and they comment about how they seem to have a hard time connecting with their wives. Or when they share their displeasure of their marriage to me. This happened a long time ago in case someone is lurking and being nosy.

Now, first of all I must let it be known that I certainly do not occupy the corner of the market on wisdom in marriage, nor am I an expert on anything but knowing one thing for sure and that is that Christ came for restoration, and that we should seek restoration in all relationships if possible. I say “if possible” because it takes two to tango.  Free will is involved. But when two persons’ will is to be restored and they seek the great Restorer then all things are possible.

Speaking to men – You can’t tell me that you don’t know how to relate to your wife, or that you don’t have time for her or the kids because you are always working. Listen guys, I know that you had plenty of time for her when you pursued her before you were married. I know that on some nights you got maybe three hours of sleep before work the next morning, because you wanted to stay near her all night. Just to be close to her was your every desire. Nothing else mattered to you. Remember those days?

I know I do.

This is all she wants. This is what she deserves. She deserves to be seen. She wants to be seen. Why do you think so many girls that grow up in dysfunctional homes dress provocatively? They have a desire to be seen. They were never seen by their fathers as a princess and so their quest to be seen begins. Please don’t let this happen to your little girls, make sure they know they’re the princess in your life.

Make sure your wife knows she is the queen in your life! Listen here guys. Let’s be frank. Every man wants a woman at his feet.  But you have to have a commanding presence for her to want to sit at your feet.  Commanding not demanding!  A big difference! Also (here come the stones) I believe every woman wants to feel safe enough and loved enough to sit at her king’s feet. But first you have to be a king, act like a king, and make sure she knows that she is not only seen by you but adored by you.

In short – If you die for her, she’ll live for you!

True Headship and submission is an allusive mystery to many, but when you understand this principle it is the most beautiful thing in life.

Sound familiar? It should, because it is a biblical principal. Jesus Himself died for us, His bride, that we might live for Him!

Doug,

The Creator’s Clay