Jesus said, “You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.” John 8:32

Freedom is what Jesus came to offer us in all of its fullness, and that freedom is built upon a singular foundation:  truth.

That is why this incredibly powerful bible verse serves as the very heartbeat of what I do, whether in my writings or my one-on-one work with abuse victims.  For those in any form of spiritual bondage – held captive to lies, fear, confusion, shame or loss, freedom is the ultimate reward of seeing and fully embracing the truth, whatever it may be.

For those of you who have been abused or neglected, when you have been lied about or cast aside, coerced or badgered into accepting a falsehood as fact, the high, thick wall that separates your heart from truth may feel almost impenetrable.  You have come to doubt your own instincts, dismiss your pain and assume that you have received what you deserve.  You have been convinced that you must accept others’ twisted version of truth as your own.

But whatever your wounds or struggles may be, your journey toward freedom begins by asking yourself this one all-encompassing, potentially life-changing question:  What is true?

Upon asking that question, perhaps your heart may be free to acknowledge…

That person is hurting me.

I am in pain.

This is not love.

This is wrong.

This is not my fault.

It’s not my job to fix it.

I need to protect myself and those I love.

I don’t have to live this way.

I can change course.

I matter.

Yes, little by little, brick by brick, as you begin to chip away at the mortar of deception and manipulation, you can see beyond the wall.  But what begins to appear may strike you as both horrifying and liberating.  For when you  finally step into the blinding light of truth and begin to see clearly the high cost of believing and living a lie, the sobering reality often produces a wave of shock followed by grief, anger and even regret.  Even as the confusion dissipates, it hurts beyond measure to discover that people you thought you could trust are not trustworthy.  People who said they loved you were really only using you.

And you wonder why.  You may wonder if you are somehow inadequate or unworthy of love.

No, those are lies too.

The truth is that, whoever those people are and whatever they chose to do that hurt you is not your fault.  They are simply not the people you thought they were.  You must be willing to acknowledge that they are simply shallow or selfish or insensitive – or even cruel.

Embracing the truth in your life will probably mean grieving what you thought you could manage or fix or contain.  It may mean the jagged pieces you believed you could somehow fit into your life really don’t belong there.  Maybe it’s time to let go of some people and things that have robbed you of your joy.  You may need to erect strong boundaries around your heart and mind to protect yourself from those who pose a threat.  It may also require acknowledging those you have wounded, whether intentionally or unintentionally, and doing what you can to make amends.

It may take a good deal of time to process where you have been.  But somewhere along the way, after the confusion has been dispelled, your wounds and shortcomings have been grieved, and the light begins to shine through in all of its fullness and clarity, it is then that you can expect to find your feet set firmly on a bedrock of life-giving truth.

Oh, you may well be tempted to return to those old beliefs, to doubt your reality, to capitulate to others’ expectations, to maintain the status quo.  You will have to hold firmly to what you know in your heart is right and true, even if doing so makes some people in your life uncomfortable.  This part of your journey may not be easy; in fact, it may be a battle.  But the battle for freedom in your own life – and the peace that accompanies it – is worth the fight.

I know.  I’ve walked that road.

Just hold tight to what Jesus said, and refuse to compromise on what you know to be true, because once you know the truth, that truth holds the power to set you free.

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Cindy Burrell/Hurtbylove.com