“It is better to be from a broken home than to live in one.”
I wish I knew the name of the pastor I heard on the radio who offered up that stunning statement. I’ll admit my surprise knowing it was a pastor who said it. I remember smiling to myself and exclaiming aloud, “Thank you.” For what he shared is something rarely heard.
For an abuse victim who dares to reveal to her friends and family members her inclination to leave her abuser, she often hears something quite different than what the pastor asserted. She will more likely hear, “What about the children?”
There it is: an emotional trump card, a ticking time bomb. Any convictions about escaping the emotional harm she and her children might face on a daily basis are at once upended and she finds herself catapulted into visions of an unavoidably disastrous future. Could it be that perhaps separating from the abuser will only make things worse? Is it true that a child is better off in an abusive household where both parents are present than in a broken home?
Minister.” Anyway, I am always baffled when I am around men and they comment about how they seem to have a hard time connecting with their wives. Or when they share their displeasure of their marriage to me. This happened a long time ago in case someone is lurking and being nosy.
Likewise, you are NOT some sort of idiot for succumbing to brainwashing. The term brainwashing is relatively new, but the practice is as old as the hills. Humankind has always known how to hurt and how to heal. Abusers target victims, in part, for their natural inclination toward healing humankind. Your great empathy, compassion and awareness of the pain of others is the soft-spot on your underbelly that abusers target first.
Mr. Religious-Abuser,