Category Archives: belief system

abuse, belief system, Christianity, confusion, denial, domestic violence, emotional abuse, enabling, faith, marriage, recovery, religion, truth

Ask Yourself One All-Important Question

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Jesus said, “You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.” John 8:32

Freedom is what Jesus came to offer us in all of its fullness, and that freedom is built upon a singular foundation:  truth.

That is why this incredibly powerful bible verse serves as the very heartbeat of what I do, whether in my writings or my one-on-one work with abuse victims.  For those in any form of spiritual bondage – held captive to lies, fear, confusion, shame or loss, freedom is the ultimate reward of seeing and fully embracing the truth, whatever it may be. Continue reading Ask Yourself One All-Important Question →

abuse, belief system, biblical divorce, children, Christianity, church denial, conflict, disrespect, divorce, domestic violence, emotional abuse, enabling, faith, fear, God's faithfulness, hypocrisy, leaving an abuser, marriage, religion, shame, trauma, wisdom

Wisdom in the Counsel of Many?

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“Without consultation, plans are frustrated, but with many counselors they succeed.”  Proverbs 15:22

We know there is wisdom in the counsel of many.  Even in the midst of overwhelming heartache and confusion, we may have some vague idea of what we want or need to do, but out of a sincere desire to do the right thing, we prefer to secure a measure of validation from others before we proceed.

Unfortunately, when dealing with an abusive spouse, some of our most well-meaning advisers may offer up various measures of godly-sounding legalism rather than the kind of balanced, practical support that the one living in the cross-hairs of an abuser desperately needs.

Continue reading Wisdom in the Counsel of Many? →

abuse, belief system, biblical divorce, Christianity, church denial, conflict, denial, domestic violence, emotional abuse, enabling, faith, fear, leaving an abuser, marriage, recovery, trauma

Trusting Your Instincts

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If you have followed me for any period of time or read some of my articles, you may know that I encourage those in abusive relationships to trust their instincts, to listen to what their hearts – and the Spirit of God – are saying to them.  Please forgive what may be redundant for some of you, as I share an important message with those who may need it.

Unfortunately, I learned the hard way the value of listening to that Voice above all others – even my own.  As a believer in Jesus and the living God who sent Him, I believe that our instincts are absolutely connected to the presence of the Spirit moving in our lives.  Yet how often do we choose to diminish, ignore or override what we sense to be right or wrong?  The issue is whether we are willing to live our lives without apology in the light of an uncomfortable truth or choose instead to defer – even with the best of intentions – to other, lesser voices.

Continue reading Trusting Your Instincts →

abuse, belief system, Christianity, conflict, disbelief, domestic violence, faith, God's faithfulness, marriage, religion

Abusers Choose

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“He came to His hometown and began teaching them in their synagogue, so that they were astonished, and said, “Where did this man get this wisdom and these miraculous powers? Is not this the carpenter’s son? Is not His mother called Mary, and His brothers, James and Joseph and Simon and Judas? And His sisters, are they not all with us? Where then did this man get all these things?” And they took offense at Him. But Jesus said to them, “A prophet is not without honor except in his hometown and in his own household.”  And He did not do many miracles there because of their unbelief.”  Matthew 13:54-58

So it is that Jesus went to reveal Himself to those who had seen Him grow up.  He arrived at His hometown willing to do the miraculous, to demonstrate the power of God to people He knew in gracious, tangible ways. Continue reading Abusers Choose →

abuse, belief system, Christianity, domestic violence, enabling, faith, hypocrisy, judgment, marriage, religion

Judge Not?

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Many of us have been taught that, as believers, we are not to judge lest we be judged.  The inference is that judging others is always wrong.  If we don’t want to find ourselves judged, we should not judge anyone else.  Ever.

It almost seems right, but it is a twisting of the truth, and it is little sound-bites like these that often hold us captive, leading us to believe that we have no right to scrutinize others’ character or to identify wicked people among us, particularly those who claim to be fellow believers.   Are we really called to accommodate the wicked living in our homes and serving in our churches for fear of being deemed judgmental? Continue reading Judge Not? →