Category Archives: disbelief

abuse, belief system, Christianity, conflict, disbelief, domestic violence, faith, God's faithfulness, marriage, religion

Abusers Choose

2 Comments

“He came to His hometown and began teaching them in their synagogue, so that they were astonished, and said, “Where did this man get this wisdom and these miraculous powers? Is not this the carpenter’s son? Is not His mother called Mary, and His brothers, James and Joseph and Simon and Judas? And His sisters, are they not all with us? Where then did this man get all these things?” And they took offense at Him. But Jesus said to them, “A prophet is not without honor except in his hometown and in his own household.”  And He did not do many miracles there because of their unbelief.”  Matthew 13:54-58

So it is that Jesus went to reveal Himself to those who had seen Him grow up.  He arrived at His hometown willing to do the miraculous, to demonstrate the power of God to people He knew in gracious, tangible ways. Continue reading Abusers Choose →

abuse, belief system, Christianity, confusion, disbelief, domestic violence, faith, fear, perfectionism, reconciliation, religion

An Abuse Victim’s Secret Fantasy

9 Comments

“He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, but he who walks wisely will be
delivered.”  Proverbs 28:26

It’s almost exactly 16 years since I left my abusive husband after 18 years of marriage, but I can still remember clearly some of the feelings that overshadowed that dark season.  Having shared many experiences that I thought might be unique to me, I have been amazed at how many of my thought processes are far more common in the lives of other abuse victims than I ever imagined.

Continue reading An Abuse Victim’s Secret Fantasy →

abuse, belief system, biblical divorce, Christianity, church denial, disbelief, divorce, domestic violence, emotional abuse, faith, hostility, hypocrisy, Jesus, manipulation, marriage, physical abuse, recovery, religion, shame

The See-No-Evil Disconnect: Abandoning Victims to Protect the Status Quo

6 Comments
“He who justifies the wicked and he who condemns the righteous, both of them alike are an abomination to the Lord.”  Proverbs 17:15

see no evil

It happens all the time.  A victim of abuse finds the courage to step out of the shadows of her shame and fear to reveal the truth about what has happened to her.  The trauma she has endured may be a result of molestation or rape, physical abuse, and/or verbal or emotional abuse.  She wants to believe that, once she shares her terrible secret, the people to whom she reaches out will hear her, validate her and comfort her.  But as horrible and shocking as it may seem, she may not receive what she needs.  For reasons that defy logic, many may rise to defend her perpetrator, and she may instead find herself shamed and shunned and even persecuted.  Such is the absurdity of the See-No-Evil Disconnect.     Continue reading The See-No-Evil Disconnect: Abandoning Victims to Protect the Status Quo →

abuse, belief system, Christianity, conflict, confusion, disbelief, domestic violence, emotional abuse, faith, fear, manipulation, marriage, misunderstood, perfectionism, recovery, shame, terror, unsafe home

Three Words Every Abuse Victim Needs to Hear

7 Comments

It is a strange thing to invest so much energy into convincing yourselfsad2 that your relationship is normal only to one day be jolted by the reality that there is nothing normal about it, to be forced to admit that your relationship is patently unhealthy, destructive, and yes, abusive. Continue reading Three Words Every Abuse Victim Needs to Hear →

abuse, belief system, conflict, disbelief, domestic violence, emotional abuse, faith, fear, marriage, recovery, religion, terror

Give Me Five Minutes (Things I Would Like to Say To An Abuse Victim)

17 Comments

Dear friend, I have no idea how long you might listen before you five minutesdecide to shut me out.  But what I have to say is important, and I hope you will give me just a few precious minutes to share what is on my heart.

What I need to say may change how you see yourself and even, perhaps, the course of your life.  Please consider my words.  My prayer in this moment is that you might give yourself permission to be completely honest with yourself.  Listen to what your heart says.  You will know if what I am saying is true.

You see, I know a lot more about you than you might imagine.  I know you think no one knows what is going on in your little corner of the world.

But I know.

Continue reading Give Me Five Minutes (Things I Would Like to Say To An Abuse Victim) →