Category Archives: divorce

abuse, belief system, children, conflict, disbelief, divorce, faith, fear, hostility, loneliness, marriage, religion, terror

If Only He Would Hit Me

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fearful woman2They don’t want to hear my stories.  They refuse to believe what I say.

“Show me your scars,” they tell me, crossing their arms in disdain.  “Prove to me the harm he has done.  Without physical proof of your pain, I have to assume you have none.”

I suppose it is easy for the outsider to distrust wounds for which there is no physical evidence.  And I confess, such indifference further adds to my pain.

If only he would hit me.  Sometimes I wish he would.  Then they might understand what he has put me through, how much it hurts, that some of the deepest wounds never bleed.  Maybe if my bones were broken, if blood flowed from all the hurting places, the cynics and know-it-alls would not be so quick to downplay my fears or tell me that the things he does or says are inconsequential.

Continue reading If Only He Would Hit Me →

abuse, belief system, biblical divorce, children, conflict, divorce, faith, fear, hostility, manipulation, marriage, religion, terror, unsafe home

Life in a Toxic Home

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On the Reformed Baptist Fellowship blog, Pastor D. Scott Meadows recently offered a document he suggested should serve as a Christian Wife’s Marriage Catechism.toxic home

Supposedly directed at believing women who are married to potentially ungodly unbelievers, let’s just say that upon reading it, I was enraged.  I prefer to think of the piece as An Abuser’s Empowerment Declaration.

Of the Questions and Answers provided, the two specifically noted below sent me into orbit.  Take a gander, reading as though a wife is asking the question, followed by the catechism response (You can click on the link above to read the entire catechism, along with a lengthy array of responses to the piece.):

Q11.    How good a husband is my husband to me?

A11.    Much better than I deserve, and therefore I will thank God for him every day. Continue reading Life in a Toxic Home →

abuse, belief system, biblical divorce, conflict, divorce, Doug's Articles, faith, Jesus, manipulation, marriage, religion

The Religious Vipers At It Again

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First off, this is Doug, not Cindy. So forgive my un-gentleness.

snake

Over at Reformed Baptist Fellowship.org Pastor D. Scott Meadows gives us a glimpse into the world of domination and control by wrongly wielding the scriptures to once again enforce the abusers mindset of total Narcissistic behavior and control over his ever so godly and submissive wife.

Here is a link to the manipulative article he wrote.   A Christian Wife’s Marriage Catechism

And here is what I think of it!

Continue reading The Religious Vipers At It Again →

abuse, belief system, biblical divorce, conflict, divorce, faith, loneliness, manipulation, marriage, recovery, religion

Am I Being Abused?

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Am I Being AbusedA joyful heart makes a cheerful face, but when the heart is sad, the spirit is broken.  Proverbs 15:13

I know how hard it is to be in that in-between place, wondering whether you are simply going through a difficult season in your relationship or whether the relationship is truly abusive. If this is where you find yourself, the assessment I have provided below is a good place to start.

Every relationship has an air, a dynamic that engenders an array of thoughts and feelings reflective of it, whether peace, contentment and safety, or fear, confusion and chaos. If you are living in an abusive relationship, you have probably worked hard to convince yourself that the thoughts and feelings that trouble you are unique to your situation or are perhaps over exaggerated when, in fact, those natural responses may be telling you that you are sharing your home with an abuser.

This quick personal evaluation should enable you to more closely assess the kinds of thoughts and feelings that characterize your lifestyle and your relationship. Continue reading Am I Being Abused? →

abuse, conflict, divorce, faith, manipulation, marriage, religion

Sleeping With An Abuser

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I don't trust you anymore“So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church…”  Ephesians 5:28-29

I recently received an e-mail from one of my contacts requesting feedback regarding intimacy with an abuser.  I tend to shy away from such sensitive matters, but in light of the pertinence of her question, I am certain that others may similarly avoid discussing these things.  I also know that it is in the darkness that fears and injuries fester, and there is an appropriate time to draw them into the light.

So, the question is this:  How can we expect to feel and respond toward our abuser sexually?  This is a multi-faceted question, and I have decided to offer my two cents based on three distinct but inseparable factors:  the draw, the danger, and the dance.  Continue reading Sleeping With An Abuser →