Lanterns for Amberly

I would like to introduce you to Amberly – the youngest of my four children, a sweet-natured darling, a delight to know and have around.  At 18-years of age, she is a petite little thing, standing at five-foot-nothing, with long dark hair and soft hazel eyes. Since the day she was born, she has been … Continue reading Lanterns for Amberly

The Great Constrainer

The conversation with my counselor went something like this: “I feel like I’m chasing after him. It’s like I’m trying to convince him that I’m worth loving.” “What do you think will happen if you stop?” “I’ll lose him.” “Stop anyway.” God knows I did my best to keep my husband from walking away from … Continue reading The Great Constrainer

I Know How the Blind Man Felt

What began as a life-changing encounter between a blind man and the Messiah should have culminated in celebration. Instead, this man whose life had been miraculously changed for the better finds himself facing cruel accusations and ultimately rejection.

My story has some similarities. But in order to understand my story, we must first take a look at his.

There were many blind men to whom Jesus restored sight, but the story of the man who has held my interest is the focus of the entire ninth chapter of the Gospel of John. We are not even given his name, yet this man, whose life began in obscurity, is now and forever etched in the chronicles of God. And on this particular day the man’s life would change in ways he could never have comprehended.

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Leaving An Abuser: What to Expect and How to Stay Grounded

Abusers are extremely predictable. In my experience as a survivor and now through encounters with other abuse victims and survivors, it is apparent that the abuser’s response to separation from his or her enabler-victim taps into a collection of tactics that is shockingly consistent. So, in the event that you have separated or are considering leaving an abusive relationship, it might be helpful to get a small taste of some of the things you can expect, together with a few recommendations on how to stay grounded. Of course, these are generalities. It is impossible to predict what every abuser will do, but the pattern is often very much the same.

Upon separating from an abuser, you can expect him to:

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Verbal and Emotional Abuse – A Primer – Part VII

Reclaiming Your Life

“Then I will make up to you for the years that the swarming locust has eaten…” Joel 2:25

Catching Your Breath

After living so many years in an abusive relationship and finally finding the strength and the will to leave, you want to believe that everything will get easier.

Many things will probably get easier, and others may become more difficult. Hopefully, a little time and distance away from the abuser will enable you to de-stress and rest. You will begin to catch a glimpse of what life is supposed to be like. Just the freedom to be imperfect is a gift. Awaking in bed alone and at peace is a welcome change from waking up alert and afraid; trying to figure out some new way of protecting yourself from someone who is determined to hurt you.

Continue reading Verbal and Emotional Abuse – A Primer – Part VII