Learn about divorce from the experience of a christian abuse victim and survivor.
Tag Archives: Abuse
A Redemptive Look at Three of the Most Commonly Misappropriated Scriptures on the Subject of Divorce (Part III)
We have looked at two of the three areas where the Scriptures are often misinterpreted and subsequently misused to the detriment of those who suffer in abusive, neglectful and destructive marriages. The case has been made that God does not hate divorce or those who are compelled to divorce with cause, nor was it Jesus’ intent to convey that those who legitimately divorce are categorically hard-hearted.
The third most commonly misappropriated Scripture seemingly finds our Lord identifying adultery as the only biblical cause for divorce. This is perhaps the most common assertion in Christian circles.
Jesus’ comment, from which this doctrine is taken, is found in three separate places in the gospels. The statement is found in Matthew Chapters 5 and 19 and Luke Chapter 16. Matthew’s account will serve as our reference, and it reads as follows: Continue reading A Redemptive Look at Three of the Most Commonly Misappropriated Scriptures on the Subject of Divorce (Part III)
Podcast Links from Radio Show Cindy was on Discussing Abuse
Here are the links to the podcasts for the radio show I was on…
A Redemptive Look at Three of the Most Commonly Misappropriated Scriptures on the Subject of Divorce (Part I)
“The Traditional Church Script” is how I have come to refer to the legalists’ dogmatic and unbiblical mantra to oppose biblical divorce and keep abuse victims bound in ungodly marriages. On Christian websites and in countless books authored by well-known authors we often find a virtually identical refrain. The writers lay down the law and contend that the issue has been settled and no further discussion is worth consideration. The legalist dogma essentially declares: God hates divorce; adultery is the only biblical cause for divorce (with abandonment a possible second); divorce for any other purpose is a sin and constitutes adultery; and remarriage constitutes adultery unless the re-marrying partner was divorced from an adulterous spouse.
Having discovered many reputable experts with an opposing and completely defensible perspective, I’ll admit my frustration that so many mainstream Bible teachers are unwilling to reconsider. I also find it surprising that prominent men and women in authority and in the ministry seem to have taken so little time to more thoroughly examine God’s intent on a subject of such profound importance.
The Great Constrainer
The conversation with my counselor went something like this:
“I feel like I’m chasing after him. It’s like I’m trying to convince him that I’m worth loving.”
“What do you think will happen if you stop?”
“I’ll lose him.”
“Stop anyway.”
God knows I did my best to keep my husband from walking away from me, his children, his home. I cannot count the nights I had lain awake crafting to perfection the words I might use to help him see that his choices and behavior were tearing up our marriage and our family. Or the number of times I confronted him with hurtful evidence of moral failures that were chipping away at the foundation of marital trust.