Tag Archives: divorce

divorce, religion

Press Release – “God is My Witness” making a case for biblical divorce

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gimw1-150x150FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

Cindy Burrell Announces the Release of Her New Book on Biblical Divorce

Author and abuse survivor Cindy Burrell is pleased to announce the release of her newest book, “God Is My Witness: Making a Case for Biblical Divorce.”

“After years of prayerful study, I am eager to share what I believe reflects God’s heart as it relates to a painful and seemingly settled subject,” Cindy shared.

A unique biblical exposé on Christian divorce, “God Is My Witness” takes the reader far beyond the traditional church script, tearing down the walls of legalism to lead the reader back to the passionate, personal heart of God.

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divorce, religion

I Know How the Blind Man Felt

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What began as a life-changing encounter between a blind man and the Messiah should have culminated in celebration. Instead, this man whose life had been miraculously changed for the better finds himself facing cruel accusations and ultimately rejection.

My story has some similarities. But in order to understand my story, we must first take a look at his.

There were many blind men to whom Jesus restored sight, but the story of the man who has held my interest is the focus of the entire ninth chapter of the Gospel of John. We are not even given his name, yet this man, whose life began in obscurity, is now and forever etched in the chronicles of God. And on this particular day the man’s life would change in ways he could never have comprehended.

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abuse

Leaving An Abuser: What to Expect and How to Stay Grounded

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Abusers are extremely predictable. In my experience as a survivor and now through encounters with other abuse victims and survivors, it is apparent that the abuser’s response to separation from his or her enabler-victim taps into a collection of tactics that is shockingly consistent. So, in the event that you have separated or are considering leaving an abusive relationship, it might be helpful to get a small taste of some of the things you can expect, together with a few recommendations on how to stay grounded. Of course, these are generalities. It is impossible to predict what every abuser will do, but the pattern is often very much the same.

Upon separating from an abuser, you can expect him to:

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abuse, children, conflict, divorce, faith, manipulation, marriage, recovery, religion

Understanding the Difference Between Compliance and Change

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Can the abuser change? The short answer: Yes.

Anyone can change. It’s a matter of desire, will and motive. Healthy people are generally desirous of change when they genuinely care about how their actions affect others and will accept an opportunity to contribute to their relationships in a meaningful way.

Does the abuser really want to change? In most cases, the short answer is “No.”

Abusers don’t care if you’re happy; they care if they’re happy. Their control is far more important than your happiness. Therefore, on the occasion where his enabler-victim identifies an area of dissatisfaction or conflict in the relationship, the abuser will quickly attempt to squelch any discontent through verbal jeopardizing, diminishment or yelling.

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abuse

Bad Juju: Working Through Bad Memories

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In our household, it is affectionately referred to as “bad juju.” I suppose that acknowledging temporary insanity with a dose of humor is half the battle. But when our lives are humming along at a fairly even keel, it is not at all humorous when one of us suddenly stumbles into it. The bad juju.

For us, bad juju is what we call an old wound that we thought was healed but isn’t – somewhat akin to post traumatic stress. An otherwise innocent situation can unexpectedly propel us back to a disturbing memory, registering an immediate, fear-based reaction – an emotional nosedive.

One such unfortunate ambush occurred when I was dating my husband, Doug. We were living about 300 miles apart at the time, and we had spent many wonderful hours on the phone getting acquainted over the previous several weeks. So he was aware of my dark history – my 20-year marriage to an abusive man. I felt quite confident that the combination of many months of counseling – together with the support of family and friends – had led me far along my path to recovery. I was naïve, having not the slightest suspicion that the bad juju was close at hand but hidden from view – an emotional land mine.

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