Tag Archives: Relationships

abuse, biblical divorce, conflict, divorce, domestic violence, emotional abuse, leaving an abuser, manipulation, marriage, physical abuse

The Face of Abuse

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This is what physical abuse looks like. See the pain, not only on the woman’s face, but also in her countenance. Verbal and emotional abuse cause just as much harm; it’s just that others can’t see the wounds and the scars left behind.

This Woman Took A Photo Of Herself Every Day For A Year. I Was In Tears When I Saw The Last One.

By sharing photos of one woman’s face over the course of a year, this video conveys a powerful message that needs to be shared. “One photo a day in the worst year of my life” was created by the Croatian government in response to a danger that many women across the globe live with every day. The harrowing message is made even more impactful by the sign the woman holds up at the end. It reads, “Help me, I don’t know if I will be alive tomorrow”. Warning: the video contains graphic images towards the end.

 

abuse, belief system, biblical divorce, conflict, divorce, Doug's Articles, faith, Jesus, manipulation, marriage, religion

The Religious Vipers At It Again

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First off, this is Doug, not Cindy. So forgive my un-gentleness.

snake

Over at Reformed Baptist Fellowship.org Pastor D. Scott Meadows gives us a glimpse into the world of domination and control by wrongly wielding the scriptures to once again enforce the abusers mindset of total Narcissistic behavior and control over his ever so godly and submissive wife.

Here is a link to the manipulative article he wrote.   A Christian Wife’s Marriage Catechism

And here is what I think of it!

Continue reading The Religious Vipers At It Again →

abuse, marriage

The Unreachable

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unreachable“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”  Anais Nin

 

In my years in this ministry, I have found that there are some people who seem to be reaching out for help and insight and healing.  But, after many months – even years – many who profess to want help refuse to receive it.  For whatever reason, they either cannot or will not relinquish their tragic identity as an abuse victim to embrace the promising future that lies before them.  These people seem quite stuck, perpetually unreachable.

Initially upon leaving an abusive relationship it makes perfect sense to share the many secrets that have been kept, to receive healthy measures of validation and comfort and direction. Sadly, the unreachable have a difficult time getting beyond that stage.  They are continually undone, interminably possessed by their disturbing memories.  They can recount their tragic stories forwards and backwards, inside out, upside down and sideways.  Even many years after being removed from their suffering, their anguish fairly pours out of them with the slightest nudge.  It is heart-breaking – a seemingly impossible scenario.  The unreachable ones’ identity is wrapped so tightly around their history that they seem to have become resigned to their identity as victim. Continue reading The Unreachable →

abuse, divorce, marriage, religion, Uncategorized

Isolation: Another Weapon in the Abuser’s Arsenal

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isolationA few years ago, I received an e-mail from the sister of an abuse victim. The writer’s abusive brother-in-law had instigated hostilities between himself  and her family. At one point, he threatened to seek a restraining order against his in-laws, and communication between them had ceased.   As a result of this craziness, the victim’s family was strongly considering relinquishing the poor woman to her chosen fate based on their belief that she was either apathetic or condoned the abuser’s behaviors.

The victim’s sister contacted me in an effort to better understand why her sister would accept these happenings. She provided some background and then posed these questions to me:

“When you were in your abusive relationship – were you cruel also? This has been going on for two years. I’m starting not to care about her – she’s a faint memory and the pain they have both caused – well her own parents are shut down and done. If you shut off family – did they take you back?” Continue reading Isolation: Another Weapon in the Abuser’s Arsenal →

abuse, divorce, marriage, religion

The Heart’s Sweet Lie

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everything will be alright_multiples“The heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick; who can understand it?”  Jeremiah 17:9

I tromped downstairs in my usual stupor one weekday morning to brew a fresh pot of coffee before heading to work and found our black Labrador, Belle, at the foot of the stairs, wagging her tail enthusiastically and prancing about in anticipation of her breakfast.  On most days, one of the kids beats me to the task, yet Belle has learned that if she puts on a good show, she might succeed in convincing me or any other unsuspecting family member who ventures downstairs later in the morning that she is famished.  Our clever dog has often enjoyed a second meal before one of us realizes that we have been duped by her well-rehearsed antics. Continue reading The Heart’s Sweet Lie →