Tag Archives: Relationships

abuse, religion

Letter to Abusive Husbands (My Husband Wrote This)

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Mr. Religious-Abuser,

My name is Doug Burrell, co-founder of a ministry that helps women who are married to super religious, super anointed, scripture spouting, pharisaical vipers who are full of dead men’s bones!

If you’re reading this letter, it most likely applies to you. Who in the hell do you think you are treating a precious gift from God the way you do?  I know how you play the game;  how you are always faithful in church and how you put on a great smile with everyone you meet. How you are falsely charming to everyone BUT your wife! I know you have the pastor and many others fooled into thinking you’re the next best thing since sliced bread. Well guess what? I know it’s all a lie! That’s right! You’re just a scared little man, afraid that everyone will find out who you really are. That’s the reason for the show. Your entire life is an act, and you know it!  News Flash – The world doesn’t revolve around you, and NO you’re not special at all!

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abuse, biblical divorce, conflict, divorce, faith, God's faithfulness, Jesus, loneliness, manipulation, marriage, recovery, religion, Uncategorized

Love Gifts from the Hand of God (The Jackrabbit Story)

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Even from a young age I have enjoyed the simple wonders of nature. In elementary school I learned to identify many of the local songbirds, the scrub jays and red-tailed hawks that could be observed in our neighborhood on a daily basis. I gleaned a special joy from an occasional sighting of deer, raccoons and squirrels that might be spotted in nearby fields yet to be cleared.

 But for some reason jackrabbits have always held a special place in my heart. Perhaps because of their elusive nature, it felt like no small reward when I would catch a glimpse of one dashing swiftly and almost silently through the tall summer wildflowers. And since those days, those creatures have come to mean much more. So with this as background, I share this odd little story.

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abuse, belief system, biblical divorce, conflict, divorce, faith, manipulation, recovery, religion

Abuse Victims Share a Common Belief System

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Dear Enabler-Victim Friends:

Our actions reflect our belief system. As a recovering enabler, I have discovered that we enablers adhere to many common beliefs and thought processes as we attempt to cope in an abusive relationship. Maybe it’s time to compare some of our thoughts to reality.

See for yourself whether I know what you’re thinking, with the help of my own version of ESP: “Enabler-isms Stated Plainly”

Who’s Convincing Whom?

The abuser is trying to convince you that you are not worth loving, and you are trying to convince him that you are.

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abuse

The Turning Point

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It was the spring of 1993. I had been living in an abusive marriage for many years and had continued to honor my husband and submit to him as any “good” wife was supposed to, living under his “umbrella of authority.” But there was a critical turning point, and this was it.

The evening before, I had learned that my husband had initiated a dating relationship with another woman months before, not long after I had given birth to our third child. Though he assured me that the relationship was short-lived, I was devastated.

Emotionally spent and equally disillusioned, I left for work early the following morning, if nothing else just to put some distance between us. I wondered if I could ever trust him again, or if I even wanted to. Still, I couldn’t think only of myself; I had to think of our children. I had always believed that God could heal anything – even a broken marriage. But, at that moment, I questioned it all.

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abuse

Verbal and Emotional Abuse – A Primer – Part VII

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Reclaiming Your Life

“Then I will make up to you for the years that the swarming locust has eaten…” Joel 2:25

Catching Your Breath

After living so many years in an abusive relationship and finally finding the strength and the will to leave, you want to believe that everything will get easier.

Many things will probably get easier, and others may become more difficult. Hopefully, a little time and distance away from the abuser will enable you to de-stress and rest. You will begin to catch a glimpse of what life is supposed to be like. Just the freedom to be imperfect is a gift. Awaking in bed alone and at peace is a welcome change from waking up alert and afraid; trying to figure out some new way of protecting yourself from someone who is determined to hurt you.

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