In many, perhaps most, cases men do not realize how greatly they are needed. This world still needs kings.
Men, your wives and children, your communities and your churches need men of passionate conviction and sure-footed purpose. We need leaders who exhibit godly character and demonstrate fearless leadership. We are hungry for those who would be our guardians and moral gatekeepers.
Too often men fail to soberly recognize and embrace the weight of responsibility, opportunity and privilege that falls on them alone, the gift of genuine masculinity that has the potential to carry with it a seal, a crest, a banner of honor, a crown. This culture, this society, this dark place desperately needs men of unwavering moral conviction, men prepared to set the example of spiritual excellence, of faithfulness, of passionate truth and unbridled courage.
You have been lied to. You have been told that you don’t matter anymore. You have come to believe that your gifts and strengths are not needed. This depraved culture has lulled you into complacency.
Over time, some of you have become content to do a day’s labor and bring home a paycheck, then come home at day’s end to sink into your recliner and flip on the television. Your spiritual lives have become religious acts of lukewarm obligation, grounded in accommodation, full of empty words and cold and lifeless prayers.
And what excitement you glean might be found primarily in a movie theater, on the golf course, or in a nightclub. All the while, all around you we as a people are literally starving for a man with a godly fire in his eyes. We are deprived of virtuous leadership, of your passionate force for good. We are desperate to hear words charged with power and wisdom and unadulterated truth.
Men, your wives need to feel safe and loved and appreciated. Your women spend time tending to their skin and hair and make-up and clothes so that you might remind them that they are special; that you see who they are and what they have to offer. They long to share their dreams with you, to lie in your arms and hear your words of authentic affirmation and affection and encouragement. They want to know you understand and will strive to meet their heartfelt needs. They may enjoy having sex, but they want to be seduced, they want to be made love to.
Men, your children need a positive role model. They long for your blessing on their lives. You have the raw ability to instill in them a confidence and conviction that no one else’s influence can match. You have the power to speak life into their lives, to change the world through the legacy you have the power to birth in their waiting hearts.
Men, the world still needs kings. We need men of strong moral stature, warriors at the ready, eager and willing to sacrifice all to deter and defend any and all who would come against their kingdom. We need men who are watchful, who are aware and intent on shoring up weaknesses, men who lead by example, and bolster the confidence and sense of safety and security of all those who live within the bounds of their kingdom.
Such a man is worth following. Such a man will garner the loyalty and conviction that makes his kingdom strong and prosperous and others rightfully envious.
I am married to such a man. I married a king. And I know what that makes me.
Men: You may not be noble by birth, but you were made to live a noble life.
Be steadfast, immoveable, ever abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your toil is not in vain in the Lord. I Corinthians 15:58
Cindy Burrell
Copyright 2012 @All rights reserved.
Reblogged this on Prophetshrek and commented:
Cindy wrote this, truly amazing! I believe if we would subscribe to kingship, many things would change in our families and nation.
LIKE! 😀
Thank you Chris
Thanks Cindy. Strong moral stature in a man is so rare these days, I reckon there are probably many people who have never seen a living example of it. The golf course is certainly not the place you are likely to see it (even if you enjoy golf for recreation, it’s not going to be the arena where moral stature comes to the fore).
I agree with you – good women want men who show moral courage and steadfastness. They don’t want men who are anemic or wishy-washy when it comes to confronting sin and injustice. Nor do they want men who are just hedonistically wrapped up in their boys-toys, sports and entertainment.
A fantastic article… and so TRUE!!!
Cindy’s husband should be writing this. Cindy should be exhorting the women to consider these issues. Cindy’s writing will not get God’s full blessing as she is usurping the place God and elders have in the life of husbands.
Mark, your belief and others like you are the reason christian men act like abusive dictators to their wives and children. Secondly ‘Mark in Idaho’ you tell no one what they should be doing, especially my wife. See, now that is Kingly behavior. A response that is protective and supportive of his wife as apposed to one that is condemning and destructive. You sir are a legalistic pom-pis ass who has no clue about Christianity regardless of you position in life!
pshrek, So, you are Cindy’s husband? Godly leadership is never justification for acting like an abusive dictator. If the church would teach proper leadership, including treating wives ‘as’ a weaker vessel, there would not be women trying to teach men. Question for you; How is a Christian husband supposed to reign in a verbally abusive, controlling wife who has been taught she has God’s blessing to be controlling and verbally abusive?
Godly Titus 2 women need to be teaching the women. Mature Godly men who don’t shoot from their mouth or keyboard should be teaching men.
If you have the intelligence to understand grammatical structure, you will notice that I did not address my first comment to Cindy, but rather to her husband (You?) So, rather than a knee jerk reaction in protection of Cindy, you should be standing up like a man and exhorting the men who need to take Godly leadership roles in their families. If Titus 2 women would teach wives how to let husbands lead in a Godly way, more would lead in a Godly way. Cindy’s past experience is not the rule, as wrong as it was. Just as many men are abused by their wives. As Gen 3:16 says; “Yet your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.” This means she shall desire to rule over or direct her husband. This is the curse as a result of her sin and her directing her husband to sin even though he was aware that he was not to eat of the fruit of the tree. (He sinned, too)
Putting this relationship in proper standing receives God’s blessing. Rejecting it does not.
I will not attempt a response since, (at least in your eyes), anything I might have to say must, by virtue of my gender, be discredited.
Cindy’s husband should be writing this. Cindy should be exhorting the women to consider these issues. Cindy’s writing will not get God’s full blessing as she is usurping the place God and elders have in the life of husbands.
Mark in Idaho:
Just curious where you get the idea that Cindy should ONLY be exhorting women to consider these issues. You refer to Titus 2 frequently in here, yet there is nothing in Titus 2 that says that women can only exhort to other women. It says that older women CAN encourage younger women, but it doesn’t say ONLY younger women. In Titus 2:15, it says, “Encourage and rebuke with all authority. Do not let anyone despise you.” There is no specification about who can do this for whom.
Also, you say that Cindy’s writing will not get “God’s full blessing,” which is just laughable. Who are you to decide who gets God’s full blessing and who doesn’t? God’s blessings upon Cindy (or anyone else for that matter) are really none of your business.
Scripture talks about women not teaching or exhorting or being in a position of leadership of men. Many feminist oriented or feminist welcoming denominations tend to talk their way around this. The collateral damage from twisting God’s Word is often blamed on other causes.
1 Timothy 2 and 1 Corinthians 14 don’t forbid women having preaching and teaching ministries, but they limit them. 1 Timothy 2 in particular forbids women from teaching or leading men. Another way to put this is to say that women are not to “shepherd” men, or be their “overseers”, as 1 Timothy 3 goes on to discuss.
The fact that there were prophetesses in the past does not prove that women are allowed to teach or lead men, or be pastors/elders. Being a prophet didn’t make you a priest (in the Old Covenant setting), and it wouldn’t make you a pastor-teacher (in the New Testament setting). 1 Corinthians 14 gives several rules on how to manage the gift of prophecy; Christian women not prophesying to the mixed congregation is one of those rules.
My point is : When God maximizes His blessings, He historically shows that He blesses those who follow His Word and He often withholds blessing from those who disobey or distort His Word. I am not saying that He will not bless those who alter or violate His Word. My goal is to try to not act like I have a better way than the way God shows us.
The woman teacher’s position is to exhort the wives to submit to their husbands and pray for them to come under the conviction of and be taught Godly principles. God honors this submission. He also allows women to flee from abuse to protect themselves and their children while continuing to pray for God’s protection and His conviction of their wrongful husband.
What part of the article she wrote do you feel that she is usurping authority? Was it the encouraging part that revealed a true woman’s heart? Maybe it was the inspirational emotion behind it that fueled a mans passion to rise. Perhaps it was the freeing part that told men that they have been lied to? Tell me, if it is edifying why is it usurping authority to you. You cite feminist of which we are not, yet I cite chauvinistic and you don’t get it. My wife is not overseeing she is encouraging and you seek to put water on the fire.
And now you are saying we are not following His rules! You sir are not following Him.
You sure know how to sling it when it comes to rules for the woman don’t you.
I am done with you. Legalists are all the same, quote scripture as long as it benefits them. I’ts much easier being a legalist than a follower, I get that.
One last question though – Why did you even read it since it was written by a woman? Doesn’t make any sense.
Doug, Your comments to me are so out of context with your blog about how “the church is afraid of real men.” Your blog is right on the mark. What I am saying is Cindy’s comments should be to women and yours should be directed at the men. Women need to just step back a bit so men are needed to fill the void.
First, you did not address your statement to anyone. Instead you just made a judgmental comment with destructive intent towards my wife, regardless of the content of her article.
Secondly, proper leadership and encouragement is what Cindy was writing about and yet you found some twisted way of perverting it by saying she basically has no right to do so on the sole basis of her gender.
Thirdly, this statement of yours is very revealing of a controlling abusive character. “How is a Christian husband supposed to reign in” Reign in? What do you mean by that? Are you saying it is your job to keep your wife in line? Because that is what it sounds like too me.
Shooting from their mouth is exactly what you did, glad your aware of it.
I’m glad you found my blog, that way you can see that exorting men is my passion.
Why would wives have to “let husbands lead in a godly way” My wife does not let me do anything. Nor do I let her do anything. Mark, your words are very telling of your mentality and demeanor.
Control is not the answer, neither is lording ones position over another. God has given men much authority, but that authority is meant to love, promote, encourage, heal, protect and restore. Never to dominate or stand over anyone either physically or emotionally.
Your understanding of Gen 3:16 is only one understanding.
Lastly you agree with my blog, but not my wife’s post even though they basically are both encouraging men to respond to the call God has placed on them. And you disagree purely because she is a woman.
This is ludicrous. Furthermore, why would the act of women stepping back be necessary for men to step forward. I find this contrary to the rest of your character. I don’t need women to step back in order for me to step forward. In one hand your telling women what to do, but on the other hand your saying men must wait for them to vacate in order to act. Doesn’t make any sense to me. I don’t need any man or women’s permission or act in order to do anything.
Are you getting this?
Women need to step back rather than create a competitive situation. My wife has been teaching Godly character to wives for some time. She does not need reigning in. I know other women who compete for control. Their husbands often refuse to try to compete. As the saying goes, If mama ain’t happen, ain’t nobody happy. Many men give in to the control of their wives to just get along. A comment to a husband of ” I need to make a decision about ‘such and such’ and would appreciate your input” is the stepping back I speak of. It can be done in many ways, depending on the dynamics of the couple.
In some cases, the husband will be very compliant until a critical mass of frustration is achieved. Then, he may over-react and become dictatorial and controlling. Some men are just controlling due to their own personality flaws or selfish misunderstanding of scripture. It is very difficult to find the proper balanced. I believe it is impossible to find that balance without a healthy helping of God;s blessings that result from the submission of both husband and wife.
You passion of ‘exhorting men’ sounds more like the book “Wild at Heart.” Women need more than a macho man. You said “My wife does not let me do anything. Nor do I let her do anything.” So, is your relationship one of apathy? It does not sound like that is what you are trying to teach
You said, “Mark, your words are very telling of your mentality and demeanor.” What specifically are you implying that my mentality and demeanor is? My wife will tell you than I am not controlling nor lording. I used to have a more controlling nature when I finally got tired of being ignored. But, I have learned how to respond in more appropriate ways.
I can understand if you feel the need to be very protective of Cindy. It sounds like she was treated badly. She is saying the right things, just to the wrong persons. And, YES, God does have different instructions for men vs women. It does not mean either one is any better in His eyes. They are both of the same stature in His sight.
Regarding Gen 3:16, you can easily do a word study of it. The true meaning is obvious from the original text.
My wife’s input is valuable. I just need to be aware to try to filter out the emotion and self-serving nature that is part of being a fleshly creature. It is no different when her input is needed to add some sensitivity to my overly objective positions about an issue. Neither of us are always complete as individuals. We need to appropriate input and support of the other.
You said, “Never to dominate or stand over anyone either physically or emotionally..” That is an overly broad statement. Women need husbands who will try to protect them emotionally. Not emotional control or abuse but emotional protection. Same goes for physical protection. They need their husbands’ physical strength to protect them, but not to drive them like cattle. I stand over my wife to hold others out but not to hold her in.
For example, when we still had our 3 kids at home, I needed to protect her from the emotional strain and burden of disobedient kids. It exhausted her until I stepped in and told her to unload that burden on me. The kids knew how to push her buttons. They knew the same tactics did not work with me.I still routinely take emotional loads off her to carry myself. Women are very emotional creatures. They will try to carry huge emotional loads. It is our duty to take those loads from them so they can function best. Releasing that emotional load to their husbands is one of the ways they can step back. It takes trust in the husband to let him carry that load. Women naturally want to carry that load themselves.
Mark in Idaho
you say “women need to step back and not create a competitive situation. I have just spent time with Cindy and Doug, and I can promise you, Cindy is not putting herself in ‘competition’ with Doug. The very suggestion is ludicrous.
If a woman is speaking out for justice and righteousness, why would that make her husband feel she is competing with him – unless of course he is a weak individual who does not have enough moral fibre or drive to stand right there with her and speak out for justice and righteousness too?
In my experience, men who object to women speaking strongly for a righteous cause are men who don’t like to have their shallow moral fiber exposed.
My point is still the same, if Doug and Cindy want to be most effective to couples, Doug should be addressing husbands and maybe single or separated wives and Cindy should address women. If she hopes to help married women as they struggle or seek to improve their marriages, teaching Biblical womanhood would be appropriate including teaching them to not try to compete or take the responsibilities that their husbands should be taking.
I know that some Christian men are abusive and dictatorial. But, I know far more men who have given up the fight for their families because they feel they never measure up to their wives standards or don’t want to compete with their wives. They go along to get along. These same men are prone to wander once they reach mid-life.
Women have far more power than they realize. A wining or harping wife will drive a husband to disconnect. A dictatorial or 50/50 share wife will rarely leave room for her husband to feel he has any room to step up.
Women have been empowered to report abuse from their husbands. Husbands are stripped of any ability to report or even react to abuse from their wives. A man can have bruises and scrapes and he gets arrested because the woman only has red marks on her wrists from him trying to hold her away.
I know many men who rose to the occasion when their wives gave them just enough room to start leading.
I am not commenting on the relationship between Doug and Cindy.
I do ‘think’ they are carrying a huge load of bitterness that effects their outreach.
The broad brush used when Doug said “Although some of your later posts were not. I still am not convinced of your position, and believe that if you haven’t already exhibited a dictatorial attitude to your family, that you just might in the future. The recipe is there, I have seen it countless times. ”
I have a friend who does not dare report the abuse from his girlfriend and mother of his son because he knows that the cops will believe her and not him. The more he tries to walk away, the harder she goes after him. His concern to to be around for his son. He can’t risk a domestic charge on his record if he ever has a custody dispute.
My brother just surrendered his kids to his wife because Arizona has a ‘man is at fault’ standard in any dispute. He has never even spoken a loud word. It has never been his nature. He just tries to be the best dad he can be.
Just know that abuse goes both ways. Even Cricket, the wife of Jack in the Box in the TV ads is allowed to get away with emotional abuse with her “No nookie” comment to Jack when she does not like the word he placed in Scrabble. Women abusing men is built into our culture.
So, asking women to step back just a bit to make room for the husband to lead is still valid. And, God blesses this attitude.
Doug, Your comments to me are so out of context with your blog about how “the church is afraid of real men.” Your blog is right on the mark. What I am saying is Cindy’s comments should be to women and yours should be directed at the men. Women need to just step back a bit so men are needed to fill the void.
I will make this short because I grow weary of this. My entire point is this –
Men should step forward regardless of what women are doing. We should not be discouraging anyone to vacate any position in order to fill it.
If a man needs a woman to move then he has no influence in the first place.
In case you weren’t aware, we have a ministry for abused christian women. A lot of what you have said in your beginning posts were exactly the attitude of the abusing husbands. This is why I reacted to you the way I did. Although some of your later posts were not. I still am not convinced of your position, and believe that if you haven’t already exhibited a dictatorial attitude to your family, that you just might in the future. The recipe is there, I have seen it countless times.
I will let others reply for a while.
Well said, Doug!
My point is still the same, if Doug and Cindy want to be most effective to couples, Doug should be addressing husbands and maybe single or separated wives and Cindy should address women. If she hopes to help married women as they struggle or seek to improve their marriages, teaching Biblical womanhood would be appropriate including teaching them to not try to compete or take the responsibilities that their husbands should be taking.
I know that some Christian men are abusive and dictatorial. But, I know far more men who have given up the fight for their families because they feel they never measure up to their wives standards or don’t want to compete with their wives. They go along to get along. These same men are prone to wander once they reach mid-life.
Women have far more power than they realize. A wining or harping wife will drive a husband to disconnect. A dictatorial or 50/50 share wife will rarely leave room for her husband to feel he has any room to step up.
Women have been empowered to report abuse from their husbands. Husbands are stripped of any ability to report or even react to abuse from their wives. A man can have bruises and scrapes and he gets arrested because the woman only has red marks on her wrists from him trying to hold her away.
I know many men who rose to the occasion when their wives gave them just enough room to start leading.
I am not commenting on the relationship between Doug and Cindy.
I do ‘think’ they are carrying a huge load of bitterness that effects their outreach.
The broad brush used when Doug said “Although some of your later posts were not. I still am not convinced of your position, and believe that if you haven’t already exhibited a dictatorial attitude to your family, that you just might in the future. The recipe is there, I have seen it countless times. ”
I have a friend who does not dare report the abuse from his girlfriend and mother of his son because he knows that the cops will believe her and not him. The more he tries to walk away, the harder she goes after him. His concern to to be around for his son. He can’t risk a domestic charge on his record if he ever has a custody dispute.
My brother just surrendered his kids to his wife because Arizona has a ‘man is at fault’ standard in any dispute. He has never even spoken a loud word. It has never been his nature. He just tries to be the best dad he can be.
Just know that abuse goes both ways. Even Cricket, the wife of Jack in the Box in the TV ads is allowed to get away with emotional abuse with her “No nookie” comment to Jack when she does not like the word he placed in Scrabble. Women abusing men is built into our culture.
So, asking women to step back just a bit to make room for the husband to lead is still valid. And, God blesses this attitude.
Mark in Idaho, may I suggest reading I Corinthians 13:1-13.
Doug is showing love and support for his wife. As Christians, we are all called to love one another. I cannot find fault in a man who displays this kind of love and support for his wife.
Mark in Idaho, may I suggest reading I Corinthians 13:1-13.
Doug is showing love and support for his wife. As Christians, we are all called to love one another. I cannot find fault in a man who displays this kind of love and support for his wife.
you are not being specific…you talk of authority, yet I think you do not understand your own point… Colossians 3 gives instruction to the family…. 1 peter 3 is giving instruction to wives as to how to behave and act so that if their husbands (and in turn anyone who knows them and sees them act on a daily basis) are not following the word they may see how she acts and be changed for the better … there is nothing that I have found that says the wife cannot have impact on how God’s word affects people through her work and actions… as in 1 peter 3. Just seems as though you are stuck in a legalistic view of the Bible… sort of like a pharisee of old…
this was a response to Mark, not Eleanor